I Say Hooray

Let me officially lend my voice to the bulk of women on this planet, as we say:

HOORAY!

For more Hugh Jackman

Egg Crackers #1 - An Old Question, Made Entirely New

I've discovered one of the best gifts the universe can offer is a walking buddy who will ask you imponderables in the early morning.

Here's my most recent favorite. So, anyone who's been on any sort of formal personal growth path (including being about to graduate and talking to career counselors), has been asked the question "If you had all the money you'd ever need, what would you do?" or "What would your perfect day look like?" or "If you didn't have to work, what would you do with your life?" I'm no exception, and I have a laundry-list of pre-fab answers to these questions I've heard a hundred times. Kind of defeats their usefulness. Bhadra threw me the question in a whole new way, though... she asked:

"Imagine you didn't have your childhood, and all your life up to this point. If it were all just starting today, what do you want to do with it?"

See, all my prefab answers were based around things I've found joy in in the past - music, theater, facilitating growth in others, travel... but this isn't the past anymore. This question has the strange effect of requiring a deep awareness of intuition and the call of my spirit, right here, right now, in real time. And my being so stumped at the question seems to show me that's not something I'm so practiced at. It cracks my egg open. I love it.

If it's all new, right now... what do you want to make with it?

Around The House #2 - Smooth Suffering

This one's not really an alternative home remedy, as expected in the hippie sense... but it is a remedy of sorts, and a little alternative. Okay, maybe a lot alternative. But I love it.

The Russian mystic Gurdjieff said that addiction to suffering was the one he had the hardest time getting his students to give up*, and I can relate. I mean, we've got to struggle a little in life to make it worthwhile, right?

Well, I'm tired of fighting out there. I think I'll control how I receive my pain from now on, thanks. Conveniently, I've found a great way to get all the torture I could ever need in one place. I've also decided it's okay to relinquish my old quasi-feminist body-hair-for-the-principle-of-it stance, and give into my aesthetic enjoyment of hairlessness. (Hmm.. sorry, ex-boyfriends!) So,

Ladies, and deliciously metrosexual men, say hello to your new worst best friend:

The Epilady Discrette

Why sabotage success in your life because you have some subconscious programming that says you have dues to pay? Just take all that shit out on yourself with one easy handheld device, and be done with it. Nothing like ripping hairs out of their folicles, root and all, to put you in your place. Plus, you may just find yourself a little sexier, when you're done.

$35 on Amazon. Enjoy!

*Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, pp.90

These are a few of my favorite things #1 - what they've said

Sometimes, especially in periods of flux and apparent downturn, its important to acknowledge how far we've come, the close connections we've made, and the wonderful way we're each blossoming as people. (I know that grammar is all wrong, any English teachers out there, I'm taking poetic license).

I thought I'd support myself in this by listing here, my favorite things that people have ever said to me, about me. Not to brag or toot my horn, but just to summon up a reminder in myself that of how incredibly much love pours my way every day. I invite any of you to sit down and try this out too, it'll really pick you up on a bad day.

In gratitude...

*"You're like a juvenile Maude" (as in Hardold and...)

*"Well, it's not always easy to be a pioneer. But its in your blood."

*"Tonight, your voice sounded like the universe vibrating."

*"Just practicing the old 'Neilson eat-sh*t, huh?" (lovingly, when snowboarding)

*"I've been secretly hoping I could pass on the business to you someday"

*"All this might just amount to a hill of beans, but I don't care. This is our hill, and these are our beans!" (Yeah, I still count it)

*"You know out-of-body experiences? Well that was an in-to body experience. Wow."

*"Stop trying to make everyone else proud, Heidi. You've done that already. It's time to live for you, now"

*"You try to fight it, but you can't help it. You ARE a yoga teacher."


*"I've loved every part of you for the past 2 1/2 years. And I always will."



mmm...

Around The House #1- Nix the Nagging Gnats

We have gradually found ourselves with a growing fruit fly infestation over the past couple weeks. The cloud of them that would emerge when I opened the compost bin wasn't so bad... it was outside, and good for a repulsed laugh. The ones in the kitchen were for the most part, mildly annoying.... until they got uppity. Once it got to the point where they'd wander from the kitchen and start jumping on the keyboard, leaving comments for their Myspace friends while we were trying to do homework, it was all too much.


I sat down with my good friend Google, whom, sadly, I spend more time with than any of my friends who are actually human beings.... wow....

Woops, sorry got distracted there. So my buddy Google and I went in search of non-toxic home remedies for this growing Drosophila problem (my friend also reminded me of this scientific name, I'd forgotten since high shcool.... awesome.) There were, as there always are, a plethora of answers, all swearing they worked, but after the number of home health-remedies I've tried and all the places I've put bizzare concoctions in my body to no avail, I was suspicious.

I went for the simplest first: a couple drops of dish soap, 3/4 inch of apple cider vinegar, let stand. Easy. I guess the soap breaks the surface tension of the vinegar, so the flies, who would normally land on liquid and be able to fly right away, end up meeting a blissful end of drowning in sweet beloved nectar. This is how one has to phrase an extermination when one is a hippie.

Lo and behold, it worked!! Check out all these little babies who we were able to help transgress into a higher life form:

Pretty incredible, huh? Highly recommended, next time you find yourself near-neurotic around your gnat nuisance.

The Nature of Sanctity, or, Because We Say So

My half-brother died last week. Actually, it was 2 weeks ago, of an apparent accidental drug overdose. We, the Southern California contingency of the family, found out 2 days ago that his memorial service would be hapenning yesterday morning. Sometimes communication takes a little while in Utah.

Now, I've missed 2 funerals for members of that side of my family in the past. At the time, it was clear that going just didn't make sense... first, when my cousin's suicide came in the middle of ferocious high school preparations for AP tests and the SAT, and years later, with the overdose of another cousin I'd only known decades earlier. At the time, these decisions were clear. Over time, though, I started to see myself as the kind of person who always prioritizes work over friends and family, and started to use these two examples as evidence against myself.

When Aaron's time came, and I was so moved and grateful to be able to be so present, and sharing in the grief of all of us who loved him coming together in tribute, (RIP, you hairy, level-463 wizard cookie chef, farting machine), I decided I'd never miss another friend or family funeral.

So Monday, I was stuck. My dad was actually awaiting calls from the doctors as to whether his heart was about to give out if he got on a plane (physically... dealing with a lot there), we were struggling to find flights, we're all struggling to make rent and hard a hard time conceiving of hundreds of dollars to fly away and back for one day, we didn't even know most of the small group that was planning to gather, and we were all judging ourselves as crappy family members, for noticing the facts that going just wasn't going to work out smoothly.

Then, in a bizarre coincidence, my dad and I were hit at the exact same time, with the idea to have our own memorial here. I like to think we both received the same spiritual broadcast from God, because I enjoy looking at the world that way. We juggled schedules, me and my brother fought over rearranging appointments, some of the biting effects grief can have came out, but it came together - in a lovely family lunch, and subsequent releasing processes at sunset.

Our lunch wasn't much different than any other lunch my dad, brother and I have had together. Most of our time was even spent talking business and the stock market. But sometimes a little avoidance is something people need in grieving too, and just in holding the intnetion to celebrate and release Vincent's life, our gathering had special signifcance, and subtle psychological effects, I think, for each of us.

We didn't have to fly anywhere, we didn't have to listen to some so-called religious official recite the words he's been taught about death, we didn't have to be in the presence of a no-longer-soul-containing body. We just mourned together. And our service was sacred. Because we said so.

Going From Broke #4 - How to Take a Break

Hi Guys,

I'm Heidi, and I'm a workaholic.

But, I'm in recovery. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to choose the most socially sanctioned addiction there is, but still, I wanted out. So now, help me out, please.

I'm compiling a list of fun activities to do to blow off steam, get away from work, or just enjoy life. I want a big, fat, exciting list to draw from, so if you could send me your ideas of fun and favorite things to do, I'd really appreciate it. My list so far consists mostly of driving around with the "windows down and the system up", playing at the beach, watching movies, and going out with good friends (or staying in for chocolate and ice cream ;))

Help me think bigger, will you? Oh, and smaller... little simple things too.

Thank you!!!